While I do drive a rather large car, it’s too big and cumbersome to be looked upon as fashionable and chic. More like a white elephant that we will have to endure until it falls apart at the seams.

I could quite happily see myself in Peugeot’s rather magnificent 4007 which would make me feel rather at home with all the yummy mummys in their large, expensive vehicles. We have quite a few where we live which is a very pleasant, normal area. But come the weekend it becomes transformed into yummy parent land. The weekly farmers market seems to bring them out in droves.

Goodness knows where they actually live as you never see them wandering the streets during the week, or walking their little darlings to school. They’re all off in their enormous gas guzzling cars polluting the air and blocking the roads on their way to the private schools.

I feel our local school is a rather well kept secret. It might be a huge ugly Victorian building and normally receives a dreadful Ofsted report, but the kids love it as much as the parents that send them there. I was in our local Starbucks not long ago and overheard a conversation between the staff. Apparently they like to do things for our local school as they perceive it to be poor and deprived. Nearly choked on my latte. On the other hand let them think that – all the more resources for us, and I can do a good poor and deprived!

Anyway, after grabbing my coffee I jumped into the car to do some household shopping, only to be faced by a yummy daddy – obviously had the day off work or ‘in between’ jobs – blocking the exit to our road with his huge, black 4×4, door open, drinking his coffee and chatting on the phone.

He completely ignored me and carried on chatting. I had an irrisistable urge to peep my horn very loudly in the hope that he would jump and spill his coffee all down his nicely pressed Jermyn Street shirt. However, my mother brought me up to say ‘excuse me’ politely, which is what I did. It went unheard and I sat there patiently until he was ready to move on. I’ll never change, and by the looks of things nor will he.

Now maybe if I had been in a 4007 with its bold, delicious looks bejeweled with chrome he might have taken notice. But there again maybe it just doesn’t produce enough CO2 to compete….